Call Me By Your Name: What does Lil Nas X’s new hit video tell us about the way society sees the feminine?

Opinion Piece

Just a quick one today folx! I just want to offer some food for thought about Lil Nas X’s new hit song, Montero (Call me By Your Name).

Quick side note- Although this isn’t going to be the focus of this blog, the conservative backlash this video got needs to be addressed quickly…  It is pretty obvious, to anyone with half a brain, that this video is not about encouraging Satan worshipping, but rather, it uses religious symbolism to make a point (as have so many other art forms throughout history). Criticisms claiming this video is inappropriate are very clearly rooted in homophobia. Hell symbolism has been used in many videos and other art works before. That’s nothing new. And oversexualisation in pop music is frankly just the norm now (WAP, anyone?). So let’s be real, if you’re clutching your pearls over this video, you’re not mad that it shows Hell and you’re not mad that it’s sexual; you’re mad that it’s overtly gay and sexual. So if that’s where you’re at, just admit to yourself that you’re a homophobe and move on. Shaaanks!

Ok, now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s really unpack this. The song and the video are both works of art. The video, which was directed by Tanu Muiño, uses a lot of very powerful (and provocative) symbolism. The lyrics to the song describe Lil Nas X’s attraction to a guy and are prefaced in the video by the lines:

“In life, we hide the parts of ourselves we don’t want the world to see. We lock them away. We tell them no. We banish them. But here we don’t. Welcome to Montero.”

The song serves as an expression of embracing all the parts of the self, regardless of perceived societal expectation. Lil Nas X also released a letter to his younger self with the song, saying, “this will open doors for many other queer people to simply exist.”

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This type of raw authenticity in the public eye takes some serious bravery, and I respect the hell out of Lil Nas X for having the courage to show his authentic truth to the world.

The official video for the song has some serious symbolism in it and there’s a lot to unpack. Most clearly, Lil Nas X embraces his feminine side and his sexuality, and both are met with hatred and are portrayed as sinful.

The opening scene takes place in the garden of Eden, with Lil Nas X portraying Eve. He is then seduced by a serpent with his own face. First he runs from himself but eventually he gives in. The symbolism of running from and eventually giving in to his true desires is pretty self-explanatory there, but what might be less obvious is the choice to portray Eve, the woman held responsible for all the sin of mankind. The story of the garden is deeply misogynist, aligning women with weakness and evil and contributing to misogyny in Christianity throughout history. What might be even less noticeable is that the serpent in this scene also resembles Lilith, the demonic woman from Jewish mythology who is also aligned with evil and seduction.

Before cutting away from the garden, the video shows a Greek phrase carved into the tree of knowledge that says: “After the division the two parts of man, each desiring his other half.” One theme is clear: after having denied parts of himself for a long time, Lil Nas X feels a deep need to embrace his sexuality and his true self.

However, after watching this scene for the first time, I found myself unable to shake the feeling that there was also a theme of misogyny and hatred of women, and I wondered if this was intentional or coincidental.

The next scene is a Marie Antoinette-style stoning by the public. Lil Nas X is dragged to his execution. The guards who escort him are him, as are all the faces in the jeering crowd who stone him to death with butt plugs. Again, a clear theme of trying to run from himself and being unable to do so, his sexuality leading to his demise, and now with an added theme of clear rejection by society. But again, he has chosen to model the style of this scene after Marie Antionette, another hated woman from history who was punished for her supposed sins. Hmm… looking less and less like a coincidence now!

After being killed by the mob of himself, Lil Nas X is denied access into Heaven and instead pole dances his way down to Hell, where he seduces and then murders Satan, taking his horns and presumably becoming ruler of Hell.

Now, my interpretation of this ending is that Lil Nas X is coming to terms with his religious upbringing that constantly told him he would go to Hell for being gay. He’s overcoming that fear and shame and basically saying ‘Fuck society’s expectations, I’m going to embrace every part of myself and live on my own terms.’ Woo! Go Lil Nas X!

But there is still a very clear assumption that his sexuality will be rejected by society and is sinful (or at least is perceived as sinful). That’s the obvious part. But the misogyny element is what’s most interesting to me… There is also an assumption that the parts of himself that are feminine will be rejected by society and are sinful.

This symbolism obviously isn’t a coincidence. Lil Nas X and director Tanu Muiño will have chosen every element of this video to make some very poignant points about society and Lil Nas X’s own experiences. It seems as though he is commenting on and rising against societal and religious homophobia, misogyny and toxic masculinity. But what is really interesting, is that he seems to also be commenting on and rising against his own internalized or conditioned homophobia, misogyny and toxic masculinity.

To be 100% clear, this is not meant as a criticism of Lil Nas X. Internalized misogyny is a societal problem that we’re ALL responsible for and complicit in. It causes pain for those who harbor it because it leads them to deny certain parts of themselves. It creates shame and repression. And I think this is one of the finer points being made with this video.

This idea is further supported by the fact that Lil Nas X ended the video in a way that reinforced the idea that these elements of himself (femininity, sexuality, homosexuality) are sinful or bad.

I would have loved it if at the end, after he had conquered the Devil, he had left Hell and taken back the Garden, or forced entry into Heaven or something like that. An ending like that would have driven home the message that femininity and homosexuality are nothing evil or to be ashamed of. That he, in his full authentic truth, has every right to exist in the world, and not just in the underworld.

I suppose it’s more powerful the way it is. My ending might have been a bit cheesy! But watching it did give me a clear sense that Lil Nas X has been very deeply conditioned to hate the femininity in himself. But maybe this is what he was trying to say. Because it speaks volumes, not just about societal messaging about what it means to be a man, but also about societal messaging about women.

Misogyny is internalized for so many of us. It leads us assign feminine qualities (within any gender), less value than masculine ones. It leads us to respond to male violence against women, not by focusing on how men can stop raping and killing, but by telling women to stay inside or cover up. It leads us to use the word ‘balls’ as a synonym for courage. It leads us to teach women to ‘lean in’ instead of teaching men to sit back and let someone else get a word in. Why do we keep downgrading femininity, even in our attempts to empower women? If only we could embrace and revere feminitiny rather than finding ways to masculinize it.

Lil Nas X’s song and video are brave and beautiful. The video in particular is deeply thought provoking. If you haven’t seen it yet, be sure to watch it below. I’d love to hear your thoughts about this analysis.

What do you think? Am I off my nut for analyzing this video this way? Or do you agree? What do you think this video tells us about the way we view women and femininity in society?